The fourth piece is a attempt to answer the question I asked at the end of the first piece
. 
underlined in blue in so far as to ask the question: [...] I remember that I spent hours on the phone trying to reassure and give hope to people who believe they lost to Always loved one in a cult. Those talks, often very harrowing, reinforced in me an aversion to all these groups and their leaders who did so much harm to vulnerable people.
After a "placement" of a couple of years and dozens of phone calls ended in this way, I began seriously to think that the only solution, in front of so many cases of psychological abuse perpetrated within sectarian groups, were to reintroduce the crime of plagiarism abolished by the Constitutional Court in 1981.
This belief was based on the following axioms:
a) the information provided by the person who asks for help, and certainly are more reliable
b) the joint stumbled into the cult has changed and rejects his family and his old friends because of the sect that controls its behavior, emotions, the information it receives and also his way of thinking (my masters "were Steve Hassan and Margaret Singer)
c) the seven religious groups are (or are presented as such) that aim to seduce the innocent and unsuspecting people
d) a Once the person has been primed with the ruse is slowly mentally conditioned by the leader and the group to leave its target group and make his new family sect
s) in the sect, the person loses his freedom of choice and its willingness to act reasonably
f) because there is no abuse bigger than the other to remove the freedom and rationality, the solution lies in punishing these actions vigorously through the establishment of an ad hoc crime.
What was wrong with this "theorem"? [...]
This belief was based on the following axioms:
a) the information provided by the person who asks for help, and certainly are more reliable
b) the joint stumbled into the cult has changed and rejects his family and his old friends because of the sect that controls its behavior, emotions, the information it receives and also his way of thinking (my masters "were Steve Hassan and Margaret Singer)
c) the seven religious groups are (or are presented as such) that aim to seduce the innocent and unsuspecting people
d) a Once the person has been primed with the ruse is slowly mentally conditioned by the leader and the group to leave its target group and make his new family sect
s) in the sect, the person loses his freedom of choice and its willingness to act reasonably
f) because there is no abuse bigger than the other to remove the freedom and rationality, the solution lies in punishing these actions vigorously through the establishment of an ad hoc crime.
What was wrong with this "theorem"? [...]
Today I will try to answer this question, although it is not easy to do in a few lines. I apologize since now if I'll have to make some simplifying too much.
the certainty of those seeking help is a key element that guides all actions of counsel in a particular direction. As for me I never thought to question the assertions made in the Tears of a mother or a father, a husband or a wife. Those people needed help and assistance and the cult that caused them those suffering could only be such (ie a criminal group of its members who abuse defenseless), or the tears and the pain would never have existed.
the certainty of those seeking help is a key element that guides all actions of counsel in a particular direction. As for me I never thought to question the assertions made in the Tears of a mother or a father, a husband or a wife. Those people needed help and assistance and the cult that caused them those suffering could only be such (ie a criminal group of its members who abuse defenseless), or the tears and the pain would never have existed.
The condition of "victims" made those people infallible their undeniable experience, their point of view the only possible. Even today I am convinced that their experience was authentic and, with it, even if their request for help, as it was my sincere desire to provide them the help that I was required.
Going back in time and poking in the memory, I remember that some families came to me already clear about the fact that their relative was over in a cult. Those families had already read "Mentally Liberi" Hassan (a text whose translation I have personally contributed as a consultant) or chapters of books were found by Margaret Singer in the network.
Other times, people describing the problems that their jointly created in the family and gave only some vague indication of what could be the cause. It was at that point that it became automatic for me to explain the strange behavior and the changes occurring attributing nefarious influence of the group.
If the changes in habits and attitudes were incomprehensible to the person's family (which, of course, we do not share) it was necessary that the "brainwashed" would be helped to return as it was before. The changes were always interpreted as the result of mental manipulation, were not the result of free choice and therefore, for the sake of the victim, had to be "correct."
Everything was already prepared and placed inside a frame of reference the same for everyone:
the symptom change of ideas, feelings, habits, friendships and so on.
the cause: the cult
dell'allontameneto attribute all the responsibility of the child to a foreign agent could be, for the family, comforting and useful for downloading their responsibilities, to me it could be a way to simplify the solution of a very complex problem .
If I had more experience and flexibility I might suggest the need to examine calmly
ALL components of the conflict, even those that were already present
FIRST affiliation. Even If during the talks showed sometimes present problems in the family even before affiliation, do not ever put in the right light, I believed, however, an item of minor importance compared to the influence of the sect who always considered crucial.
If I did I would have noticed (and this only after I understood it) that, in most cases, the cause of conflicts and that the sect was not only in a limited number of families existing problems could attributable ONLY membership of their relative.
These were REAL
cases of abuse and circumvention, due to the action of unscrupulous charismatic leaders worried only their own benefit and the exercise of power over vulnerable people.
Although, as I mentioned above, the main objective (the estrangement from the sect of the joint) is not hardly ever reached, now I realize how important it was of great comfort to the families to speak of their suffering with someone who does not summarily dismiss them but trying to understand their plight.
Many people have thanked me and still continue to do so, years later, the mere fact of having been heard when no one else had shown himself willing to do so.
The testimony of those families who continue to remain in touch with me after many years is invaluable. Thanks to them, in fact, I realized that the influence of time and changes that occur in individuals and social systems is crucial and often overlooked.
Who provides assistance does so in a given time. Once past the emergency contact is lost with people.
E 'instead very important to check
distance of time the effects that the action of assistance has resulted in the household or individual. E '
very serious, I think, that anyone involved in this area this problem does not arise at all. If so you might account for errors that are serious committed, even with the best intentions, they collect data to avoid them in future, find ways to learn from this experience and pass on to others.
But all this is utopia. The volunteers involved in this field have at their disposal: no resources, the time remaining from their work commitments and little or no basic training. On the other hand abound: good will, good intentions, the "heart" and desire for "justice." I explain the importance of the effects of time and change individual / social conflict within the family with some examples.
Parents who call me years after I refer that:
- their children, after a trial as free agents, have left the group to which you were affiliated, and have re-established relations with them. 'S abandonment of the group, however, did not resolve the conflicts that clearly is not dependent from the requirement favored by parents but by factors inherent in family dynamics
- in other families the children were in the group which had affiliates, but, over time, conflicts are softened and contacts have been restored, in a sort of compromise that makes the most serene family dynamics for all
- in other cases still suffering the emotional loss of a spouse, that is addressed in two main ways: the resignation or anger, two extremes between which there are plenty of light and shade.
Quest 'last point leads me to reflect on a crucial problem is the topic of a future piece and synthetically formulated by two questions:
How much influence they had on me and on my way to assist past experiences and how angry I was at first and shared with others?
As the sorrow of others facilitates the action of assistance and how much, however, can hamper it?
"
Going back in time and poking in the memory, I remember that some families came to me already clear about the fact that their relative was over in a cult. Those families had already read "Mentally Liberi" Hassan (a text whose translation I have personally contributed as a consultant) or chapters of books were found by Margaret Singer in the network.
Other times, people describing the problems that their jointly created in the family and gave only some vague indication of what could be the cause. It was at that point that it became automatic for me to explain the strange behavior and the changes occurring attributing nefarious influence of the group.
If the changes in habits and attitudes were incomprehensible to the person's family (which, of course, we do not share) it was necessary that the "brainwashed" would be helped to return as it was before. The changes were always interpreted as the result of mental manipulation, were not the result of free choice and therefore, for the sake of the victim, had to be "correct."
Everything was already prepared and placed inside a frame of reference the same for everyone:
the symptom change of ideas, feelings, habits, friendships and so on.
the cause: the cult
- care: the person decondition
- The third point was critical because it requires a goal, the only one that mattered to families. The failures in the "care" and had many successes were limited in some cases taken at the beginning of the "disease" when the symptoms had just occurred and the adept, immediately discouraged and scared, and left the group before that the work of proselytism did really taken.
- The disappointment I felt when all efforts proved futile and the poor adept get caught in the web in which he had fallen was really hot, but now I wonder: perhaps there was a little disappointed in myself for not being IO "successful" in my task? Maybe yes, deep down we are all human beings.
dell'allontameneto attribute all the responsibility of the child to a foreign agent could be, for the family, comforting and useful for downloading their responsibilities, to me it could be a way to simplify the solution of a very complex problem .
If I had more experience and flexibility I might suggest the need to examine calmly
ALL components of the conflict, even those that were already present
FIRST affiliation. Even If during the talks showed sometimes present problems in the family even before affiliation, do not ever put in the right light, I believed, however, an item of minor importance compared to the influence of the sect who always considered crucial.
If I did I would have noticed (and this only after I understood it) that, in most cases, the cause of conflicts and that the sect was not only in a limited number of families existing problems could attributable ONLY membership of their relative.
These were REAL
cases of abuse and circumvention, due to the action of unscrupulous charismatic leaders worried only their own benefit and the exercise of power over vulnerable people.
Although, as I mentioned above, the main objective (the estrangement from the sect of the joint) is not hardly ever reached, now I realize how important it was of great comfort to the families to speak of their suffering with someone who does not summarily dismiss them but trying to understand their plight.
Many people have thanked me and still continue to do so, years later, the mere fact of having been heard when no one else had shown himself willing to do so.
The testimony of those families who continue to remain in touch with me after many years is invaluable. Thanks to them, in fact, I realized that the influence of time and changes that occur in individuals and social systems is crucial and often overlooked.
Who provides assistance does so in a given time. Once past the emergency contact is lost with people.
E 'instead very important to check
distance of time the effects that the action of assistance has resulted in the household or individual. E '
very serious, I think, that anyone involved in this area this problem does not arise at all. If so you might account for errors that are serious committed, even with the best intentions, they collect data to avoid them in future, find ways to learn from this experience and pass on to others.
But all this is utopia. The volunteers involved in this field have at their disposal: no resources, the time remaining from their work commitments and little or no basic training. On the other hand abound: good will, good intentions, the "heart" and desire for "justice." I explain the importance of the effects of time and change individual / social conflict within the family with some examples.
Parents who call me years after I refer that:
- their children, after a trial as free agents, have left the group to which you were affiliated, and have re-established relations with them. 'S abandonment of the group, however, did not resolve the conflicts that clearly is not dependent from the requirement favored by parents but by factors inherent in family dynamics
- in other families the children were in the group which had affiliates, but, over time, conflicts are softened and contacts have been restored, in a sort of compromise that makes the most serene family dynamics for all
- in other cases still suffering the emotional loss of a spouse, that is addressed in two main ways: the resignation or anger, two extremes between which there are plenty of light and shade.
Quest 'last point leads me to reflect on a crucial problem is the topic of a future piece and synthetically formulated by two questions:
How much influence they had on me and on my way to assist past experiences and how angry I was at first and shared with others?
As the sorrow of others facilitates the action of assistance and how much, however, can hamper it?
- "
"
Albert Einstein
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